I Can't Get No Satisfaction: One of the Struggles Parents Face in Raising Their Kids
According to an article in the Christian Post, parents are spending much of their hard-earned bucks on stuff that may lead to hard-hearted kids. That's obviously not breaking news, except that the article focuses on a study by the Barna Group that shows many of these are Christian parents who often disagree with the very stuff they are buying to satisfy their kids:
I think both of those things may be true, but the article points to another point of danger for all of us. Apparently, those parents more saturated in media themselves were most likely to be lenient on their kid's media choices. I can see the truth in this, as what parent under the age of 50 isn't driven by media themselves? I know our house is almost completely wired (or wireless, as the case may be). We're so used to media, it's hard to put it down. Case in point: I'm tapping on it right now.
I think even more problematic is an underlying desire of parents to allow their kids to "fit in" with the society in which they live. In a media-driven society, it is difficult to teach our kids to be "in the world, but not of it." Barna points to this tug-o-war that many parents find themselves in:
For us right now, it's pokemon. Every little boy in my son's class is into trading pokemon cards and, though that is pretty benign in comparison with some of the video games being sold to young kids these days, I'm not totally comfortable with some of those cards. So what do we do? We're compromising, letting him play with the cards in order to "fit in," but spending a lot of time talking with him about them and the issues that arise from his participation. Are we wrong to even let him? I don't know. I hope not. I do know that not letting him participate removes him from virtually all social interaction with his classmates, so it's a decision we felt we had to make.
I think Barna rightly summarizes the point as it relates to making a choice between pleasing God in our parenting and always pleasing our kids (who often, to some degree, become products of society). Perhaps more times than not, we will not be able to do both:
It's a tough, highwire act to walk, but unless we do, our kids are the ones who will fall into the abyss.
Seventy-eight percent of Christian parents had purchased DVDs of movies and TV programs in the past year for their teenagers and 87 percent had purchased DVDs for their children under 13, the latest Barna Group study found. Yet 26 percent of them did not feel comfortable with the DVD products they purchased.As I read through the article, I tried to figure out how this happens and what is the root problem here. Is this simply a result in confusion of roles, where the children are "ruling the roost," convincing or, sometimes, demanding that weak parents get them what they want regardless of the parents objections or is it that the parents, though they may not fully endorse the products, feel it will not affect their children negatively?About six out of 10 parents bought music CDs for their teen children but one out of every three of them had concerns about the content. Also, slightly more than half of all Christian parents had purchased video games for their children yet nearly half (46 percent) of parents of teens admitted to concerns about the content of those games.
I think both of those things may be true, but the article points to another point of danger for all of us. Apparently, those parents more saturated in media themselves were most likely to be lenient on their kid's media choices. I can see the truth in this, as what parent under the age of 50 isn't driven by media themselves? I know our house is almost completely wired (or wireless, as the case may be). We're so used to media, it's hard to put it down. Case in point: I'm tapping on it right now.
I think even more problematic is an underlying desire of parents to allow their kids to "fit in" with the society in which they live. In a media-driven society, it is difficult to teach our kids to be "in the world, but not of it." Barna points to this tug-o-war that many parents find themselves in:
"Millions of Christian parents want to appear to be relevant in their children’s eyes, and to provide gifts that fit within the mainstream of postmodern society," George Barna, lead researcher of the latest study, noted. "The problem is that many of the entertainment products that meet those criteria conflict with the moral precepts of the Christian faith. Parents have to make a choice as to what is more important: pleasing their kids’ taste and sensibilities, or satisfying God’s standards as defined in the Bible. When the decision made is to keep their children happy, the Christian parent is often left with a pit in their stomach."It would be easy for me to self-righteously throw stones at all of these irresponsible parents who provide objectionable material for their kids and preach about how they should stand up and be the parent. Though that is absolutely true that we must be the parent, I do understand the difficulty of that last reason. As the parent of a seven year-old, I'm already facing this struggle. Obviously, there are firm lines that must be drawn, but unless you take your kids out of the greater society, there are difficult choices to be made.
For us right now, it's pokemon. Every little boy in my son's class is into trading pokemon cards and, though that is pretty benign in comparison with some of the video games being sold to young kids these days, I'm not totally comfortable with some of those cards. So what do we do? We're compromising, letting him play with the cards in order to "fit in," but spending a lot of time talking with him about them and the issues that arise from his participation. Are we wrong to even let him? I don't know. I hope not. I do know that not letting him participate removes him from virtually all social interaction with his classmates, so it's a decision we felt we had to make.
I think Barna rightly summarizes the point as it relates to making a choice between pleasing God in our parenting and always pleasing our kids (who often, to some degree, become products of society). Perhaps more times than not, we will not be able to do both:
"Many Christian parents are striving to serve two conflicting masters: society and God. They refuse to believe that they cannot satisfy both," he said. "Sadly, this Christmas season will produce enormous stress for numerous Christian parents who don’t want to disappoint either God or their children, but whose ultimate choices will disappoint both God and themselves, while providing gifts that are not in the best interests of their children. For Christians, the Christmas season should be a time of celebration and appreciation of the life of Jesus Christ. Instead, that joy is being minimized by the pressure and confusion introduced by our focus on material consumption and fulfillment."In my opinion, this ultimately comes down to an issue of discipleship. For parents, a lack of training in living out their faith in all areas of their lives (most importantly at home), leads to a lack of understanding of just how damaging much of the media content their children are exposed to can be. Further, we're not discipling our kids, teaching them that there are often limits we must place on ourselves in order to please God and, thereby, lead lives of purpose and peace.
It's a tough, highwire act to walk, but unless we do, our kids are the ones who will fall into the abyss.
Labels: Christianity, David C. Price, Family, Parenting
posted by DAVID C. PRICE at 11/21/2007 07:45:00 AM
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