A kiss before dying
CNN reported an unbelievable story today of a fifteen year old girl who was shot in the eye for refusing to give her date a kiss:
Sadly, this is more than likely a generational problem that began several generations earlier. Is that an excuse? I don't think so. A reason, yes, but not an excuse. Until parents decide they're going to be responsible parents, regardless of ethnicity, social status, background, etc., we're going to see more and more of this kind of insanity taking place. Is this kid to blame for his actions? Absolutely. Are the parents just as much to blame? More than likely. Is there a quick and easy fix? Not hardly. Nevertheless, at the bare minimum, it is the obligation of parents to take responsibility for their own actions and for the care and well-being of their kids. Likewise, it is our responsibility, as a society, to encourage them to do so and hold them accountable when they do not.
I will be the first to attest to the difficulty and challenges of parenting (and my son is only 4 years old!), but there is a huge difference between trying and failing and failing to try. I'm afraid, based on the report, we're seeing the sad result of failed parents producing failed kids...and when that happens, everybody loses.
When a frustrated suitor named Alfred Bishop asked her for a kiss, [Elise Hernandez] refused him. Again and again, he asked. She said no. When he pulled out a revolver and pointed at her head, Atlantic County Prosecutor Jeffrey Blitz said, she pushed it away.Among the many disheartening aspects of this story is the part the parents played. Bishop's mother reports that, "he had been drinking and smoking marijuana earlier that night...who talked to her son by telephone after the killing." Though I don't know for sure, I have a sneaking suspicion this was not the first revelation of her son's habits. As for the girl's parents, they were certainly not clueless regarding at least the possibility of a problem with their daughter's boyfriend:
"She laughed him off," Blitz said.
The rejection cost her: After being rebuffed, Bishop shot her through the eye, cutting short the life of a bubbly, self-assured high school sophomore who loved hip-hop and dancing and went by "Lisa," according to authorities.
Bishop had threatened Hernandez previously, according to Hernandez's family.I have no doubt that many good and valid discussions and debates can occur regarding many issues related to this situation. However, it seems clear that much of the responsibility lands squarely on the parents that not only saw a problem and did nothing, but very possibly cultivated the problems.
'That was not any accident, because two days before he killed my daughter, he was in my house drinking with me,' said Luis Santiago, 34, the victim's father. 'And I told him, `Yo, stop playing with a gun like that. You're a young kid. I've been in jail too much time. You will find yourself in jail for life.'
'Also, he told my daughter `You are going to be mine, or you are going to be dead,' (italics added)
Sadly, this is more than likely a generational problem that began several generations earlier. Is that an excuse? I don't think so. A reason, yes, but not an excuse. Until parents decide they're going to be responsible parents, regardless of ethnicity, social status, background, etc., we're going to see more and more of this kind of insanity taking place. Is this kid to blame for his actions? Absolutely. Are the parents just as much to blame? More than likely. Is there a quick and easy fix? Not hardly. Nevertheless, at the bare minimum, it is the obligation of parents to take responsibility for their own actions and for the care and well-being of their kids. Likewise, it is our responsibility, as a society, to encourage them to do so and hold them accountable when they do not.
I will be the first to attest to the difficulty and challenges of parenting (and my son is only 4 years old!), but there is a huge difference between trying and failing and failing to try. I'm afraid, based on the report, we're seeing the sad result of failed parents producing failed kids...and when that happens, everybody loses.
Labels: David C. Price
posted by DAVID C. PRICE at 4/02/2005 11:30:00 PM
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