a moment in time
the tree went up yesterday. as i normally do each year after everything is decorated, i turned out all of the lights in the house except for the tree and sat to watch the silent flicker of those little white lights, enjoying the memories encased in each of the many decorations suspended from the limbs. it seemed like a just a moment ago that i had done the exact same thing last year. almost as if no time had passed, again i was watching those same lights that have gone on the same tree for the past eleven years. how fast time moves by. cliche, i know, but as i look at my little boy and think back to christmas a year ago and remember sitting with him on the floor in our living room, house lights down as we watched the lights flicker on the tree, i realize these moments are escaping and there is absolutely nothing i can do to stop it; to even slow it down.
the day after my son was born, i walked by the gift shop of the hospital with my dad. as we passed the children's clothing in the window, he pointed some childrens clothes that look very much like the clothes my son wears today and said, "you know, it won't be long before jacob is wearing those clothes." though perhaps it may have seemed rather odd to speak that way in reference to a one day old baby, i knew what he was saying and my mind instantly raced back to my earliest memories as a child and realized that it had taken only a moment for me to be standing with my 70 year old father as he stood beside his 32 year old son. he knew all too well how quickly this life escapes us. in that one comment, he gave me a world of wisdom.
now, to even realize that i have a four year old little boy is sometimes too much for me to comprehend. what have i done with the last four years? what kind of impression have i made on his little, developing mind? oh, the fear in parenting. i am not worthy for this honor and i so often feel so ill-equipped. but i am thankful. i know it is only by the grace of God that i am here today, and i reflect on the opportunities--some taken and some missed--and i vow to miss no more...a vow i know i am incapable of keeping but one i feel compelled to make anyway.
i suppose most people get nostalgic around the new year as they reflect on what they have done in the previous year and look ahead with anticipation of what awaits in the new. for me, it's sitting on the floor, alone and quiet, knowing that in just a moment, Lord willing, i'll be here again with yet another year under my belt, thinking about my wonderful wife and my little boy who is growing up, oh so fast, wishing i could fully appreciate what i have...wishing i could push the pause button until i can get a grip on the now; until i can fully appreciate what i have before even this moment has passed. but time continues on at lightening speed and i'm left grasping these quiet moments, praying for strength and wisdom to make the most of what time i have here and now, and hoping that my little boy will be able to enjoy the journey as much as his daddy does.
the day after my son was born, i walked by the gift shop of the hospital with my dad. as we passed the children's clothing in the window, he pointed some childrens clothes that look very much like the clothes my son wears today and said, "you know, it won't be long before jacob is wearing those clothes." though perhaps it may have seemed rather odd to speak that way in reference to a one day old baby, i knew what he was saying and my mind instantly raced back to my earliest memories as a child and realized that it had taken only a moment for me to be standing with my 70 year old father as he stood beside his 32 year old son. he knew all too well how quickly this life escapes us. in that one comment, he gave me a world of wisdom.
now, to even realize that i have a four year old little boy is sometimes too much for me to comprehend. what have i done with the last four years? what kind of impression have i made on his little, developing mind? oh, the fear in parenting. i am not worthy for this honor and i so often feel so ill-equipped. but i am thankful. i know it is only by the grace of God that i am here today, and i reflect on the opportunities--some taken and some missed--and i vow to miss no more...a vow i know i am incapable of keeping but one i feel compelled to make anyway.
i suppose most people get nostalgic around the new year as they reflect on what they have done in the previous year and look ahead with anticipation of what awaits in the new. for me, it's sitting on the floor, alone and quiet, knowing that in just a moment, Lord willing, i'll be here again with yet another year under my belt, thinking about my wonderful wife and my little boy who is growing up, oh so fast, wishing i could fully appreciate what i have...wishing i could push the pause button until i can get a grip on the now; until i can fully appreciate what i have before even this moment has passed. but time continues on at lightening speed and i'm left grasping these quiet moments, praying for strength and wisdom to make the most of what time i have here and now, and hoping that my little boy will be able to enjoy the journey as much as his daddy does.
Labels: David C. Price
posted by DAVID C. PRICE at 11/28/2004 01:10:00 AM
|
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home